Hard Boiled Eggs?

"The Christian way is different: harder, and easier. Christ says 'Give me all. I don't want so much of your time and so much of your money and so much of your work: I want you. I have not come to torment your natural self, but to kill it. No half measures are any good. I don't want to cut off a branch here and a branch there, I want to have the whole tree down. I don't want to drill the tooth, or crown it, or stop it, but to have it out. Hand over the whole natural self, all the desires which you think innocent as well as the ones you think wicked—the whole outfit. I will give you a new self instead. In fact, I will give you Myself: my own will shall become yours.'"
"...The terrible thing, the almost impossible thing, is to hand over your whole self—all your wishes and precautions—to Christ. But it is far easier than what we are trying to do instead."
"...He [Jesus] never talked vague, idealistic gas. When He said, 'Be perfect,' He meant it. He meant that we must go in for the full treatment. It is hard; but the sort of compromise we are all hankering for is harder—in fact, it is impossible. It may be hard for an egg to turn into a bird: it would be a jolly sight harder for it to learn to fly while remaining an egg. We are like eggs at present. And you cannot go on indefinitely being just an ordinary, decent egg. We must be hatched or go bad."
-C.S. Lewis "Mere Christianity" ch. 8-

A Hill to Die On

We don't see light; we see what it touches. it is more or less invisible, made from nothing, just purposed and focused energy, infinite in its power (it will never tire if fired into a vacuum, going on forever). How fitting then for God to create an existence, then a metaphor, as if to say, here is something entirely unlike you, outside of time, infinite in its power and thrust: here is something you can experience but cannot understand. Throughout the remainder of the Bible, then, God calls Himself light. -Donald Miller, "Through Painted Deserts" p.60

I was talking to my friend Greg the other day and we were remarking on the inexplicable frustration we experienced when people use God, or the words of God, as weapons. It seems to me (to us) that more often than not it is those who have fallen into the path of legalism who are more guilty of this than others. They wield the word of God against their fellow believers (yes, even against their own children) in wrath and self-righteous indignation attempting to prove some point about the validity of their strongly held values. I admire the fever, i admire the conviction, yes i even admire the values sometimes to lesser or greater degrees. But should these be hills to die on? Should we hold with such conviction our values of music? Of dance? Of alcohol? Or even of lesser, petty, theology?
There comes a time when i must think that the heart, yea even the mind, must stop and consider the outlandishness of a value that is an extrapolation of scripture overshadowing the value of love and brotherly kindness. When did our preconceived notions of "Christian morals" become more important than the simple teaching of Christ about Faith, Hope, Truth and Love? When did our personal beliefs become the standard for the rest of Christianity? And when did these personal standards become a pedestal from which we look down on the meager masses of milling Christians wallowing in adulterous sin to their maker? Who gave us that right? Are we so great that we understand the infinite mind of God? Are we so great as to think that what we have interpreted as "right Christian living" is not open for debate; is the only answer and the only true example?
I fear, my friends, that if Christ were to walk among us today we would be the pharisees. I fear that we would be the "whitewashed tombs" who harbor so many rules and regulations that we cannot accept the simple grace of the messiah. For what is grace but a thing undeserved? Why then do we, who have received such a gift, live continually striving to be worthy? For what are all these rules and regulations that we set up but standards we try to meet so as to feel justified and know that God "approves" of us? It is not so my friends. No matter how high your standards, or how exacting your methods, you will never be viewed by God as any better or more spiritually worthy than the next Christian who has none of those standards. God does not judge in that way. My dear friends if He did none of us would be here. And if initial grace is not earned by merit, how then can we think that the grace of sanctification is any different...or anything different than the same grace we initially received?
Why then hold so dear to standards extrapolated from scripture? on music? or on alcohol? or on dancing, smoking, etc.? (or ANYTHING else we feel called to apart from scripture?) These are mere personal standards that have no foundational basis in scripture as to be a command for ALL men. They make no person better, they make no person more worthy Most importantly, they make no person more loved by God--and adherence to them should make no person more or less loved by US.
God, and godliness, and His words are not yours to use as your weapons against your own. He alone is the counselor to His thoughts, He alone will decide whom He loves and gives grace to, He is unthinkable and unsearchable, how dare we play His part in deciding what is, and who has Christian Spirituality by thoughts of our own choosing and making.

Retrace
Anberlin

Oh, how I've tried to get you out of my head.
And I lied, broken words I said.
Never thought I'd walk on this street again.
Standing where it all began.

Tried to forget when I left this town,
But it takes me right back when I come back around.

Retrace the steps we took on that long summer night.
I'm right there by your side.
Retrace the steps we took when we met worlds away.
Counting backwards while the stars are falling.

Oh, how I find every subtle thing screams your name.
It reminds me of places of times we shared.
Couldn't live locked in these memories.
Now I'm chained to my thoughts again.

And I tried to forget when I left this town,
But I'll take you right back if you come back around.

Retrace the steps we took on that long summer night.
I'm right there by your side.
Retrace the steps we took when we met worlds away.
Counting backwards while the stars are falling.

I need some shelter, I need some safety.
Photographs, they haunt me lately.
Chasing shadows as the evening takes me.
I'm still searching, but the picture's fading.

Retrace the steps we took on that long summer night.
I'm right there by your side.
Retrace the steps we took when we met worlds away.
Counting backwards, still counting backwards.

And no where else has ever felt like home.
And I can't fall asleep when I'm lying here alone.
I replay your voice, it's like you're here.
You move the earth, but now the sky is falling.

Retrace the steps we took on that long summer night.
In my mind, I'm back by your side.
Retrace the steps we took when we met worlds away.
Counting backwards while the stars are falling.

Just Like the Sun...But More Like the Moon

How do we love?
Is it the same as sight?
Painted reflections on another’s heart
Sight unseen
Is choice an object?
How much more the intangible?

In the Interest of God

So, im going to be honest here, i cant figure this thing out. Why i do this to myself i don't know–i just figured out how to work the new facebook and navigate that semi-smoothly and then i throw the blogspot concept at myself. this is not good. i was literally lost in my OWN profile for a half hour. i couldnt figure out how to get back to my blog. i finally just had to sign out and then sign back in. Its hard to admit defeat–especially at the hands of an website.
But, while i was sitting there lost on my own page i noticed something...something interesting and maybe even disturbing. I was looking at my "interests". and they include, if you have not read them already (and if you havnt i dont hold it against you), God, reading, writing, theology, philosophy...etc. I read this list over a few times (for the seventh time as i tried to find my way out) and satisfied that it correctly summed up my life i began to scroll down in another hopeless search for a link to my blog, and then it dawned on me. What was God doing under my "interests"? Sure, like a good Christian i listed him first, who wouldnt....but an Interest? i mean, yeah...i'm interested in God for sure, but thats why i put Theology on there. theology is a legitimate interest. Should that be a designation for God?
I scrolled back up and stared at it. what should i do? Surely God didnt belong in this category...but where should i put Him? (figuratively speaking of course. remember, this is the guy who is lost in his own profile.) I liked the Passion of the Christ, but God didnt ultimately belong in my Movies. i like Christian music but he doesnt ultimately belong there. i like Christian books by Ted Dekkar and company but God doesnt ultimately belong there either. None of them seemed right, none of them seemed like the place to list God so that he would get the predominant place he deserved.
then i looked up. this little section labled "About me". A place where i had so cleverly written "its not" in a lame attempt to appear more spiritual. It occured to me that i would like to place the name of God there, i want that to be true. I want everything "about me" to be about God. I dont want Him relegated to an interest or a movie or a song or even one of my beloved books, i want him consuming and eminating from my life so that no one need even ask what i am "about", the answer is plainly obvious.
This might seem kinda silly, the movement of "God" from one category on a profile to another. But in some ways i think its highly symbolic. And no, if you check my profile, i have not changed anything yet. I'm not sure i can, not because i'll get lost...i've figured this out...i think, but because I'm not sure that what that movement would signify would be completely true. i WANT it to be, i pray that it will be, but i dont think it is. I shall think on this some more.

Oh The Joys

Have you ever volunteered for something only to find out later that significantly more was expected of you, and your services, than what was originally thought?
My day kinda went like this: to bed at 1 am after arriving back at Moody from a hilarious "haunted" corn maze. (its true that I haunted that corn maze way more effectively than the spooks they hired). I slept for 4 hours and woke up at 5:15 to hurry and get to work at the Catering kitchen and make coffee, O.J. and ice water for the people watching the Chicago Marathon. I was told originally that all i had to do was make the various drinks, drop them off at the specified location then peace out and go back to sleep until noon, at which time i would go back and pick it all up.
Now, anyone who has spent, oh say, three minutes with me on any morning knows that i am NOT a morning person. (i repeat, NOT a morning person). but i overcome this periodically to make money. (read: go to work). So when Mr. "i'm in charge of this party" walks over just as Austin and i were about to head back to bed and says: "So where's the platters? Your boss said you would plate up all the bagels", you can just imagine how happy i was. not only were there about 675 bagels in three ginormous bags, but ten dozen donuts and various boxes of random (and i mean RANDOM.) pastries. (we're talking wheat-based products i've never seen before)
But it gets better. Mr. "I'm in charge of this party" continues. he realizes that we are not exactly on the same page, and i have no doubt he caught my chilly, not-so-friendly, grouch gaze, and realized i had not planned on anything else than delivering his drinks. (and for good reason...THAT WAS ALL HE ORDERED.) He says: "Your boss also said you would stick around and replenish the drinks as they get empty...until noon."
This is where i became rather upset. before it was a minor inconvenience, he had only deprived me of a half hour of sleep by asking us to plate the bagels. now he was ripping away an entire morning of precious rest.

Mr Catering supervisor was NOT happy.

I really dont appreciate people taking advantage of the service we offer. and dropping my bosses name to make me do stuff for you aint cool either. So what did i do? i did as i was asked, not because the customer is always right (they're not...they RARELY are, most of them dont have an iota of a clue as to what they are talking about), but because i knew that when a customer asks us to add to an order the day of the event we get to itemize the list of the extra things and charge them extra for them. =)
is it revenge if its standard policy? I might not care.
Poor Austin had to work with me all morning as i took my anger out in passive ways, like muttering sarcastic comments at the WMBI guy standing on a platform by the street screaming into a microphone at the marathon runners saying the same thing over and over... "Go, go! you can do it! yeah! Go go! you can do it!..."
...i mean seriously...shut up.
Radio people need to say on the radio–where i can turn them OFF if i want. i seriously doubt any one of those runners was like, "you know im gonna quit now at mile marker 11.......oh wait! i've been invigorated by the annoying man on the microphone who just loves to hear his own voice! i can now continue running and finish!"
honestly? i mean, seriously. If they are tired at mile 11 when they run by Moody they deserve to drop out. didnt they train for this? call me pessimistic or fatalist but the Kenyan's win anyway. they run by a full half hour ahead of everyone else. I understand its a personal accomplishment to run the 26.2 miles of the marathon, that is not lost on me. But i just dont think that any man screaming on a mic is going to encourage them any more than anyone else. Now he might make them run faster to get AWAY from him. that might be an advantage for them.

Anyway, that was my day.
i finish with a quote that i think is quite applicable to this situation, and as Austin said, sums up the entire job of catering as a whole:

"Poor planning or communication on your part does not necessitiate an emergency on mine."

words to live by my friends.

Excerpt from My Latest Song

I saw a city
Marked under rain
By night and then by day
Hurried and busy
She was frantic and unknown
Light and color
War and peace
The reflection of sheer beauty
Blurred by the deep
Lost and wandering
Sure and steady
Cold and wet
Yet amazingly well met
I saw a city
I saw my heart