Words From The Os

Life has been hard these past few weeks. feeling the sting of loss, the weight of grief, and the agony of losing love held so dear. But through it all God has been so very faithful, and incredible in my life. I was remarking to a dear friend how i felt the presence of God so acutely but even in that i was surprised to feel no answers to my prayers. Tis a strange place to find ones self: So close to God i swear i can feel his breath, yet he gives no answers to my gut wrenching prayers.

In response she sent me this. it brought tears to my eyes. so i share it with you. This is from My Utmost for His Highest by Oswald Chambers.

"When He had heard therefore that he was sick, He abode two days in the same place where he was." John 11:6

Has God trusted you with a silence - a silence that is big with meaning? God's silences are His answers. Think of those days of absolute silence in the home at Bethany! Is there anything analogous to those days in your life? Can God trust you like that, or are you still asking for a visible answer? God will give you the blessings you ask if you will not go any further without them; but His silence is the sign that He is bringing you into a marvellous understanding of Himself. Are you mourning before God because you have not had an audible response? You will find that God has trusted you in the most intimate way possible, with an absolute silence, not of despair, but of pleasure, because He saw that you could stand a bigger revelation. If God has given you a silence, praise Him, He is bringing you into the great run of His purposes. The manifestation of the answer in time is a matter of God's sovereignty. Time is nothing to God. For a while you said - "I asked God to give me bread, and He gave me a stone." He did not, and to-day you find He gave you the bread of life.

A wonderful thing about God's silence is that the contagion of His stillness gets into you and you become perfectly confident - "I know God has heard me." His silence is the proof that He has. As long as you have the idea that God will bless you in answer to prayer, He will do it, but He will never give you the grace of silence. If Jesus Christ is bringing you into the understanding that prayer is for the glorifying of His Father, He will give you the first sign of His intimacy - silence.

Sermon

Link to the sermon i preached Aug 9. its under "Single Sermons" then the title "The Face of God"

http://www.fbcnj.org/site/sermons/

The Face of God

I am continually surprised at how our lives which are lived in reality are most often understood in metaphor. Jesus obviously understood this which is why he preached in parables so often. I love the story of the prodigal son because its as if God is saying, "Ok, i know that you have a hard time understanding me, so i want to tell you a story about me...this is how i see me, this is how i want you to see me"
I guess i latch onto that wonderful story because its a glimpse into the glowing heart of God that is so real and so tangible because, if i'm honest, and if all of us are honest, its the life story that we live...its the day to day experience that we all feel; and the metaphor of the story tells us that what we fear in reality (the abandonment and/or anger of God and subsequent fear of retribution and punishment) is unheard of. When God tells the story about who he is in relation to us its a story of boundless love.
In 1 John When God describes himself again he says that he IS love. not that he merely contains love, not that he just shows love, and not even that he is mostly love. But that at the soul of his essence God IS entirely love. its hard for me to grasp but it is out of this love that every other quality of God flows...even his wrath and his punishment of sin.
God, being after his own glory (as he rightfully should be) and in his mercy and love made us to be the most joyful and fulfilled when we are closest to Him. he didn't have to...but he did. When i feel his chastening and punishment its as if he is saying to me: "Scott...i created you to love me...i created you to glorify me and i made you to be the most satisfied when you are seeking me. so why are you over there? what are you doing wandering away? have you forgotten that you are more joyful right here next to me? This is going to upset you and this is going to hurt...maybe quite a bit, but its not because im burning with anger against you...its not because im trying to whip you into shape so you can be a good little Christian. its because i know you will glorify me more...and thus be happier when you get back to where you belong."
1John 4:18 says that perfect love (love that has been completed in Christ by Abiding in Him) casts out all fear of punishment. The supreme command of God is to love Him and to love others. Christ said that that is the embodiment of the Christian life. If we are loving God and our brothers we have no fear of punishment.
Its a far cry from the form of Christianity i live. i live trying to be the good Christian who doesn't sin because "thats what God wants" and i dont want him to be mad and punish me. But i think if we look closely we see that the heart of God is that we respond out of love because of his love for us. All of our obedience and all of our good works for God are meaningless unless they are born out of love. its the cry of Paul in 1 Corinthians 13, its the passion of John in 1 John, its the voice of Christ when he says that the whole law (not just the 10 commandments) is summed up in two sayings: Love God with all you are...and then Love man. and i believe that love is the face of God.
John says that the hallmark of the Christian life is not adherance to a set of rules, it isn't marked by all the things we do or dont do, it isn't even defined by the fact that we seek to do good and not do bad things. The supreme quality of a life devoted to God is that we are loving other people. John says in 1 John that we know that we are saved and prove that we love God when we are loving other people. regardless of what they are doing, regardless of if they love us. Conversely, John has the audacity to claim that our failure to love our brothers and sisters in Christ proves that we do not love God and are not abiding in him. (and therefore abiding somewhere apart from God). There is no statement about who deserves our love. there is no mention of when to not love someone. the command is permanent.
We cannot, and should not, discredit ourselves (or anyone else) based on anything else. Christ said that by their fruit we will know other Christians. I dont think its a conincidence that first among the list of the fruit of the spirit in Galatians is LOVE. The petty things dont matter. what does matter is that if we are called to be like our God then the essence of our being, and the focus of our lives, and the yearning of our heart, and the director of our ambitions, and the guidpost for our actions, and the determing factor for our obedience, should be love.

Hands Out, Palms Up: I Surrender

Its a rush, its revealing
There’s not much I can to
To prevent her from stealing
My heart; I wont protect
Its too late for that
Even so its not like I could select
She wasn’t just a face in a crowd
She wasn’t just an arbitrary thought
To love; my heart wishes it was allowed.

Masterpiece

Sometimes i feel like a piece of stained glass. one that everyone looks at and admires and "oohs" and "aahs" as the sunlight hits me and scatters brilliance all around. But i look down at me and see the minute imperfections: the bubbles in the glass, the stains and uneven surfaces. And i see the glaring imperfections: the cracks, the the chips and the broken pieces...i know that if anyone could see me from where i see me they would not ooh and aah so much anymore.

I also feel like a hypocrite. im just glass...im nothing special--infact im just painted glass. im something ordianry that has been chopped up into a mosaic and displayed in grandios fake glory--DONT LOOK AT ME. i scream it in my heart of hearts. but then in my pride i like being looked at, i enjoy the praise of others. and in my vain i marvel at my own color spashed on the walls by the sun. yes, what a real hypocrite i am. I am selfish in my hypocricy too, i dont want anyone to look at the other pieces of stained glass, no, only look at me. i dont want them to like any of my fellow stained glass panes, they must only appreciate MY color and MY beauty. its sad really. at the end of the day when all the admirerers have gone home i reflect on my reflection and realize how utterly selfish and prideful i really am.

Thats when i overemphasize my cracks, thats where i scrutinize the small imperfecions on my glossy exterior and mourn the chips that mar my surface. "why?" i scream. "Why did i do this to myself?" "no one will want me...no one will ever accept me because of what i've done!" My pride turns to despair and self-loathing. There never seems to be a middle ground. I am either in love with my own magnificence or crushed by my own imperfections.

But you know the wonderful thing about stained glass? The wonderful thing about stained glass is that it was created. I did not make myself. Oh, in those moments of selfish pride i imagine that i have...but did i fasion my translucent pane by myself? did i design my mosaic? did i paint the beautiful artwork that is me?
See, the wonderful thing about stained glass is that it had a maker. a designer. an artist.
I am HIS masterpiece. When the sun hits me and casts out my array of colors it is HE who gets the credit for my brilliance.
And my artist is patient enough with me when i break myself. He is compassionate when others chip me. And he reminds me that i was born and conceived in imperfection and that someday my shiny surface will be without imperfections.
It is then that i realize that though my surface is marred by many cracks--some of them quite large, and though i have some gauges and chips, these imperfections only serve to make the light shine more beautifully through me because they have become additional refractors of light in my artist's brilliant masterpiece.

My Strength Has Failed

He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High Will abide in the shadow of the Almighty. I will say to the LORD, "My refuge and my fortress, My God in whom i trust!" For it is He who delivers you from the snare of the trapper and from the deadly pestilence. He will cover you with his pinons and under His wings you may seek refuge; His faithfulness is a shield and bulwark. (Psalm 91:1-4)

When i came across these few verses in Psalms they just seemed to jump off the page. I was first struck by the many names for God used, "Most High", "Almighty", "LORD", "My God", This is purposeful and deliberate. The writer is seeking to show the many facets of God's character that are the reasons for his psalm of trust. The writer goes on to describe God as a "refuge", "Fortress", "deliverer", "Shield" and a "Bulwark". He also uses the imagery of a mother bird protecting her young under her wings.

The beginning of this passage says that it will be the one who dwells in the "shelter of the Most High" who receives the benefits of the Lord's protection and provision. Adam Clark in his commentary points out that the "shelter of the Most High" probably refers to the Holy of Holies in the tabernacle. He who enters legitimately there shall be covered with the cloud of God's glory-the protection of the all-sufficient God. This was the privilege of the high priest only, under the law: but under the new covenant all believers in Christ have boldness to enter into the holiest by the blood of Jesus; and those who thus enter are safe from every evil. John Gill says that it is in this place that believers also are shown His everlasting love, it is made known to them and they dwell in it.

Its fascinating how this provision and protection that we as God's Children receive is at once seen as a mighty defensive structure (shield, refuge and bulwark) and at the same time also a tender caregiver (A mother hen protecting her young), both something that we as fragile humans desperately need. This metaphor of a mother bird sheltering her chicks is common in sacred writings, it refers to God taking us under his wings when birds of prey appear, and also sheltering us from chilling blasts. Furthermore, it is interesting that the The Septuagint reads: εντοις μετα φρενοις αυτου επισκιασεισοι “He will overshadow thee between his shoulders” This alludes to the custom of parents carrying their weak or sick children on their backs, and having them covered even there with a mantle.

This Psalm of faith written most likely by David reminds me that my God is worthy to be trusted in all circumstances, those in which he is my fortress and shield and even those that in which he is my father, cradling me upon his massive, capable shoulders when my strength has failed. and many times he is both these things--and more--at the same time.

Hard Boiled Eggs?

"The Christian way is different: harder, and easier. Christ says 'Give me all. I don't want so much of your time and so much of your money and so much of your work: I want you. I have not come to torment your natural self, but to kill it. No half measures are any good. I don't want to cut off a branch here and a branch there, I want to have the whole tree down. I don't want to drill the tooth, or crown it, or stop it, but to have it out. Hand over the whole natural self, all the desires which you think innocent as well as the ones you think wicked—the whole outfit. I will give you a new self instead. In fact, I will give you Myself: my own will shall become yours.'"
"...The terrible thing, the almost impossible thing, is to hand over your whole self—all your wishes and precautions—to Christ. But it is far easier than what we are trying to do instead."
"...He [Jesus] never talked vague, idealistic gas. When He said, 'Be perfect,' He meant it. He meant that we must go in for the full treatment. It is hard; but the sort of compromise we are all hankering for is harder—in fact, it is impossible. It may be hard for an egg to turn into a bird: it would be a jolly sight harder for it to learn to fly while remaining an egg. We are like eggs at present. And you cannot go on indefinitely being just an ordinary, decent egg. We must be hatched or go bad."
-C.S. Lewis "Mere Christianity" ch. 8-